Could this be called Potty humor?

Traveling across country by car, I decided to stop at one of those rest areas on the side of the road. I go into the restroom. The first stall is taken, so I go into the second stall. I had just sat down when I hear a voice from the other stall ask, “Hi, how’s it going?”

I am not the type to strike up conversations with strangers in restrooms sitting on a toilet. I didn’t know what to say, so finally I said, “Not bad.”

Then the voice asks, “So, what are you doing?”

I am starting to find this a bit weird, but I reply, “Well, I’m going back east...”

Then I hear the guy, all flustered, say, “Look, I’ll call you back. Every time I ask you a question this idiot in the next stall starts talking to me”

UH OH! WE HAVE BEEN BUSTED!

Last year we had caught a glimpse or two of a squirrel darting up into a tree, but none near the bird feeders. This year it is a different story. At first I thought there was just one squirrel, then a few days ago I was sure that the critter I was seeing seemed smaller. Yesterday I saw two squirrels gobbling down sunflower seeds so my suspicions proved to be correct.
I must say these two sure are entertaining.

"If I sit in the pan of seeds, I will get my share before the birds get here"

" I sure hope I can hold on long enough to get my fill of peanut suet"

"There's gotta be an easier way"

I really didn't think you would notice a few itty bitty seeds were missing!

The Bathing Suit

When I was a child the bathing suit for the mature figure was boned, trussed and reinforced, not so much sewn as engineered. They were built to hold back and uplift and they did a good job.

Today's stretch fabrics are designed for the prepubescent girl with a figure carved from a potato chip.

The mature woman has a choice - she can either go up front to the maternity department and try on a floral suit with a skirt, coming away looking like a hippopotamus who escaped from Disney's Fantasia or she can wander around every run of the mill department store trying to make a sensible choice from what amounts to a designer range of florescent rubber bands.
What choice did I have? I wandered around, made my sensible choice and entered the chamber of horrors known as the fitting room.

The first thing I noticed was the extraordinary tensile strength of the stretch material.
The Lycra used in bathing costumes was developed, I believe, by NASA to launch small rockets from a slingshot, which give the added bonus that if you manage to actually lever yourself into one, you are protected from shark attacks as any shark taking a swipe at your passing midriff would immediately suffer whip lash.
I fought my way into the bathing suit, but as I twanged the shoulder strap in place, I gasped in horror - my boobs had disappeared!

Eventually, I found one boob cowering under my left armpit.
It took a while to find the other. At last I located it flattened beside my seventh rib.

The problem is that modern bathing suits have no bra cups.
The mature woman is meant to wear her boobs spread across her chest like a speed bump. I realigned my speed bump and lurched toward the mirror to take a full view assessment.

The bathing suit fit all right, but unfortunately it only fit those bits of me willing to stay inside it.
The rest of me oozed out rebelliously from top, bottom, and sides.
I looked like a lump of play dough wearing undersized cling wrap.

As I tried to work out where all those extra bits had come from, the prepubescent sales girl popped her head through the curtain, 'Oh, there you are,' she said, admiring the bathing suit.

I replied that I wasn't so sure and asked what else she had to show me.
I tried on a cream crinkled one that made me look like a lump of masking tape, and a floral two piece which gave the appearance of an oversized napkin in a serving ring.

I struggled into a pair of leopard skin bathers with ragged frills and came out looking like Tarzan's Jane, pregnant with triplets and having a rough day.

I tried on a black number with a mesh midriff and looked like a jellyfish in mourning.


I tried on a bright pink suit with such a high cut leg I thought I would have to wax my eyebrows to wear it .

Thanks to Judy for the laugh.


Finally, I found a suit that fit. a two-piece affair with a shorts style bottom and a loose blouse-type top.

It was cheap, comfortable, and bulge-friendly, so I bought it.
My ridiculous search had a successful outcome, I figured.
When I got home, I found a label which read -- 'Material might become transparent in water.'

So, if you happen to be on the beach or near any other body of water this year and I'm there too... I'll be the one in cut-off jeans and a t-shirt!

BANKS LAKE....PART 2

One of the events at our annual trip to Banks Lake everyone seems to enjoy, is the Saturday afternoon potluck.

Peace to you too.

Everyone is too busy eating to pose for a photo.

MrC. has cooked his hot dog over the open fire just the way he likes them, and Bob is waiting for his to come out of the fryer. We used the fryer to cook all the fish Dale and Fred caught. There is nothing quite like fresh fish, cooked to perfection.

Fred pouring champagne.

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Every year I have observed this tree growing on the rock and it is slowly getting larger.

MrC and a yellow perch he caught.

In previous years we have caught many of these perch, but sadly this year this was the only one. In fact the fishing was rather poor not only for perch, but bass and walleye too.

MrC doing his best to hook a "big one" It did not happen, and I was not interested in fishing at this time, as I was enjoying listening to the birds in this little inlet off of the main lake.

BANKS LAKE MINI VACATION

This past week I did not have any time for blogging as I spent all my time working, going to classes for further education for my job, then in between all that, I had to find the time to load our RV for our annual trip to Coulee Playland at Banks Lake with the Fishin' Club.
The weather during our last couple of weeks had been wet and dreary, so we were delighted to find sunshine as we headed up over the Cascades on our journey to Banks Lake.

We just love this beautiful drive along the tree lined road, with spectacular views of the mountains.

Does anyone know what these clouds are? They certainly were beautiful and interesting.

This year there is still a lot of snow left to melt away.

I seem to take a picture or two of these craggy peaks, every year we travel this route to our vacation destination. There is so much beauty, one can't help snapping every lovely sight they see. Well, at least I can't.

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Our first day out on the lake, we went into one of the many little side channels off of the main lake. These channels and bays are very quiet and calm, and as we use a battery run trolling motor in these locations we make little noise.

Floating along quietly, we came across a turtle going about the business of enjoying a bask in the sun, but as we drew closer he became nervous, and with barely a splash, he dove of the branch and sped away under water.

This lovely Mule deer was quite nervous when she first noticed our presence. MrC and I sat very still in the boat and watched her, and when she felt we were not going to harm her she calmly went back to grazing.

We did have a nice trip away with our friends, and I will post more soon.

OUR WEEKEND OF RELAXATION

After I arrived home from work on Thursday afternoon, we made the decision to stay at home rather than risk the bad weather which was in the forecast. But after an hour or so, the weather made a change for the better so we said "what the h--l let's go anyway, so we loaded the rest of the food in the RV and left to catch the ferry from Keystone over to Port Townsend.

Our RV, although small and not a gas guzzler like those huge bus size rigs, is very comfortable and suits MrC and I just fine. AND we can get into campsites those huge RVs could never in in a million years squeeze into. Case in point was the campsite on the Dungeness River we were heading for. The road down into the camping area is very narrow, with turnouts in case you meet another vehicle. It was uneven with ridges and potholes after all the rain during this past winter, and, did I mention it is steep. Yes indeed, it is steep, keep your seat belt buckled or you may end up on the floor of your vehicle. *grin* So you see, anything other than cars, SUVS, pickups with campers and our small RV could not get down the road to the campground.

On the ferry crossing, these two cruise ships passed by, seemingly racing to get into harbor, they both left a wake which had the ferry captain telling us to hold onto our drinks when we ran across the rough water. He wasn't wrong as the little ferry did quite a dance across the cruise ship wakes.
From the dock in Port Townsend it was about 45 minutes drive to Dungeness Forks campground.

We have stayed at the Dungeness Forks campground on several occasions, and just before you cross the bridge a few yards before the campground entrance, there is a flat area beside the river where folks have made a camping spot. The ground is quite level and previous campers had made a fire pit. This time we were pleased to find that no one had laid claim to this lovely campsite, so we pulled in and set up camp. It was also a no fee area, not being in the National Forest Campground.

As we had already eaten on our drive to the campsite, all we really needed was dessert, so the fire was lit, and let burn down until there were nice hot glowing coals, just right for toasting marshmallows over. After a few, OK, more than a few, lovely golden brown, crisp outside and squishy inside, toasted marshmallows we settled into our cozy bed for a good night's rest, lulled to sleep by the water rushing by just a few feet from the door.
Take a look at the video at the end of this post, (turn your speakers on) and you will hear the sound of rushing water we heard, only it was muted inside the RV.

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Next morning, after a good breakfast we dressed warmly, because the day was still chilly, and went for a walk across the bridge, through the campground, then followed the river along the trails which went up river. We went as far as we could before running out of trail. I am sure there are more trails but we just followed this particular one.

The trees look quite beautiful all decked out in moss. It was very quiet walking along the trail under these majestic trees, and we enjoyed the solitude.

A couple of old giants long since fallen and now clothed in moss

Every so often we would leave the main trail, to follow a smaller one, which would lead us down to the loud, swiftly flowing river. We had to speak loudly, to hear each other over the sound of all that very cold rushing water, making it's way over the rocky river bed, and eventually to the ocean. How beautiful this place is.

One very determined plant, clinging to life between the rocks beside the river. One good flood and it would be swept away.

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From the campground, we followed the road up, and I mean up, for quite a distance. Our legs told us we were climbing on a steep incline going up and also when we walked back down. I think we need to do a little more walking , we are a little out of shape after being indoors all winter.

Being an avid gardener, I am always looking at all the plants I pass by. These little succulents with pretty little yellow flowers, were growing on the rocks beside the road.

This little red beetle caught my eye as he sat in the middle of the road. What a bright little fellow he is.

The bright colors of the wild Columbine stood out from the the various shades of green surrounding it.

After we had come back to camp from our walk, and were sitting beside the campfire, I glanced up and saw a flash of bright color about 25 feet along the riverside from where we were sitting. As we looked, a person launched themselves in a kayak, out from behind all the bushes on the river bank into the swirling water. He/she was shortly followed by three other kayakers. They were down the river and out of sight in a flash. I guess if you enjoy this kind of adventure it would be a Whoo Hoo! moment. Not for me, thank you very much. I always have the fear the kayak would tip upside down, and I could not get it right side up, and I would drown.

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Next morning before leaving and returning home, we walked the trail which goes from our campsite up the river. We walked the trail until we came across a slide we decided was too unstable and dangerous to cross. There was a huge drop down to the river and calling out search and rescue would not have been a good thing, that is, if you were still alive when you reached the river waaaaay below!

It is so beautiful on the trail. The trees are covered in moss, as are the banks beside the trail. I was fascinated to discover so many different types of moss. The ferns come in all shapes and sizes, some growing on tree trunks, some pushing their roots into cracks in the rocks alongside the trail, other growing happily in all the rich leaf mulch.


The trail winds around, up and down and in some places is very narrow so watching where we put our feet was so important. One false step and you could end up rolling down into that icy cold river.

Since last year when we walked this trail, there must have been some high waters rushing down carrying all these logs along, until the piled up beside the huge rocks. Mother nature is quite creative when it comes to arranging logs in a river.

I found these dainty little flowers, the size of a small pea, growing in a shaded area beside the trail.

This video is taken from the bridge you have to cross to reach Dungeness Forks campground. You can just make out the white on our RV through the trees on the left. The noise of the rushing water is quite loud, but as I said, it is muted when you are inside the RV, and it is very soothing and soon lulls you to sleep.

Just love some folk's sense of humor

TIME OUT FOR US

Here in the Pacific Northwest, as usual we are getting our fair share of rain, and the Spring had been considerably cooler than usual.
MrC and I are not going to let this kind of weather, stop us from filling the fridge in our RV with food and taking off for the weekend.
Both of us have had way too much to do these past few weeks, so we are both now pretty much worn out. Getting away from the telephone, knocks on the door and work for a couple of days, will allow us to recharge our batteries.
We do "the time away thing" as simple and basic as possible, hot dogs and marshmallows for a cookout, if the weather permits, sandwich and soup fixins', snacks and of course plenty of coffee if it is cold.

Our favorite campground, Dungeness Forks, is right at the fork of two rivers, and is a fairly primitive area where no large RVs or trailers can go, but our rig is small enough to navigate the steep downhill narrow road, to the campsite. There are trails beside the rivers to walk, or we can just sit around the campfire gazing at the flames and let out our minds wander as they will. There sure is something hypnotic about the dancing flames which puts you into a state of relaxation, just what the doctor ordered!
I have another couple of days work and a class for further education to do with my job, then I can finally relax. I really am not all that thrilled about all this extra learning stuff, as I have not been in a classroom situation for many, many years and find it tiresome, and hard to retain all that is thrown at us in one day. I guess this is all part of growing older sighhhhhh! Oh well, I have just two more classes next week then it will be all done until we do a refresher next year sometime. You never know, I may have decided to retire by that time next year and won't have to sit through all the yaddda, yadda, yadda.


You all have a wonderful day.

RESTAURANT CLOSED TO RABBITS

A little while ago, as MrC opened the front door and looked out, I heard him say. "bring your camera and come out here and take a look at this"
Around here you never know what you are liable to see, so as I was walking towards the door I was turning on my camera ready to take the picture of a lifetime, OK, at least an interesting picture.


"Are you waiting for the gate to be opened?" I asked the bunny. He/she seemed to be looking longingly at all the vegetables inside the fenced garden. "Sorry wabbit, this is not a restaurant for rabbits, and these vegetables have not been planted for your enjoyment" With that he/she got up and hopped away.
Do I feel bad? not at all. We have about 9 acres of nice alfalfa pasture the rabbits can eat.

THIS 'N' THAT

Since 5/11/08 I have been adding a photo to THIS 'N' THAT for a future post. For the last two days I have been outdoors getting grass mowed, more vegetables and Perenials and annuals planted in the gardens.

"Sensitive fern"

Ferns are some of my favorite plants for the shady areas of my garden as are Hostas. I am starting to get quite a collection of ferns, but unfortunately, some of the most unusual ferns are quite expensive.

Hydrangea, Pansys and Agapanthus

Yesterday I planted the "endless summer" blue Hydrangea in the 1/2 barrel and today I planted white and blue pansys around the base.
I also planted the Agapanthus in the old wash tub and placed chicken wire around it to stop the rabbits from devouring the plants. A couple of weeks ago, I had planted a few marigolds in the tub and after the bunnies had found them, all that they left, are a few leaves. I am hoping the 1/2 barrel is high enough that the rabbits will not bother the pansys. I will not hold my breath on that one.

Some of the plants on the front porch.

A happy face.

My favorite pot on May 11th.

My favorite pot today, May 31st.

This is the third year the Hostas and Ferns have been in the pot and they are looking so lush and lovely.

All I have left to do now, is flush the irrigation system I installed last summer, set the timer for automatic watering for when it gets hot and we are away from home, then just sit back and watch everything grow. Of course I will still have to pull weeds as they come up, and feed the plants and vegetables for the best results. I must say, a few weeks ago I thought all the projects were never going to be finished, and I was already bone weary, but now all is done, I am well pleased with my efforts. I also thank my honey MrC for all his hard work, as I certainly could not have done all the work by myself especially building the fence around the vegetable garden and the raised beds.

THE BIRDS WILL THANK YOU

After each load of laundry, I collect the lint from the dryer filter, and place it into a mesh bag which held some fruit, I bought at the grocery store.

Several colors of lint to choose from.

A little Hummingbird collecting lint to line her nest.

The little hummer, sitting on a branch of the pine tree outside the kitchen window, is almost camouflaged against the green needles and brown branches. Her babies are going to have a nice soft nest to nestle in, after she lines her nest with the lint.
I was quite excited to see the Hummingbird collecting the lint, and would love to discover her nest, but it would almost be impossible to find in all the trees around here.
I have also seen Chickadees pulling lint from the mesh bag, to use in their nest building.

TUESDAY CHUCKLE, OR GROAN

An 80-year-old man went to the doctor for a check-up and the doctor was amazed at what good shape the guy was in.

The doctor asked, “To what do you attribute your good health?”

The old timer said, “I’m a turkey hunter and that’s why I’m in such good shape. I’m up well before daylight and out chasing turkeys up and down the mountains.”

The doctor said, “Well, I’m sure that helps, but there’s got to be more to it. How old was your dad when he died?”

The old timer said, “Who said my dad’s dead?”

The doctor said, “You mean you’re 80 years old and your dad’s still alive? How old is he?”

The old timer said, “He’s 100 years old and, in fact, he hunted turkey with me this morning, and that’s why he’s still alive... he’s a turkey hunter.”

The doctor said, “Well, that’s great, but I’m sure there’s more to it. How about your dad’s dad? How old was he when he died?”

The old timer said, “Who said my grandpa’s dead?”

The doctor said, “You mean you’re 80 years old and your grandfather’s still living! How old is he?”

The old timer said, “He’s 118 years old.”

The doctor was getting frustrated at this point and said, “I guess he went turkey hunting with you this morning too?”

The old timer said, “No... Grandpa couldn’t go this morning because he got married.”

The Doctor said in amazement, “Got married! Why would a 118-year-old guy want to get married?”

The old timer said, “Who said he wanted to?”

ANOTHER PROJECT FINISHED

With the help of my Honey MrC the vegetable garden we have been working on for the past few weeks is now completed. Today MrC used a sawsall to cut the rims out of three old tires we had lying around,then I placed them in the garden and filled them with rich topsoil and compost. Two other containers I am using as raised beds were also filled with the topsoil/compost mix. Then multiple layers of newspapers were spread between the beds then covered with a layer of pea gravel. Last of all I planted a few more vegetables in the new raised beds.
To see the finished project click HERE.
Now I need a nice hot shower to ease the stiffness in these old bones. MrC is already lying on the heating pad to ease all his aches and pains.

NUNSENSE

The wise old Mother Superior was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed. She asked for a little warm milk to sip so a nun went to the kitchen to warm some milk.

Remembering a bottle of whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.

Mother drank a little, then a little more, then before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop. “Mother, Mother” the nuns cried, “Give us some wisdom before you die!”

She raised herself up in bed with a pious look on her face, and pointing out the window she said, “Don’t sell that cow!”

IT IS FINISHED

I should say MrC's part is finished. Now it is up to me, to plant and tend the garden. So far I have several varieties of tomatoes, swiss chard, lettuce, spinach, garlic, carrots, parsnips, corn, sweet bell peppers, jalapeno peppers, peas, beans, several different herbs, four different varieties of strawberries, and many more things to get into the raised beds.

I am considering planting a clematis on each side of the arch.

ALMOST A FINISHED PROJECT

MY honey, MrC has done such a wonderful job of building raised beds and a fence surrounding my new vegetable garden. He also surprised me, for Mother's Day, with an arched entryway into the garden, upon which I plan on growing a clematis up each side. The only thing left to do is to build the gate and install it.
WHAT A GUY !!!!!! He does so much for me and I sure do appreciate it all, and love him dearly for it.
MrC says all the Broccoli from the garden will be will be worth all the hard work. This is a joke between us as he can't stand broccoli.

FAMILY CAR

A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the family car. His father took him into his study and said, “I’ll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study the Bible a little, get your hair cut and then we’ll talk about it.”

After about a month, the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss his use of the car. They again went into the father’s study where the father said, “Son, I’ve been very proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you’ve studied the Bible diligently, but you didn’t get your hair cut.”

The young man waited a moment and then replied, “You know Dad, I’ve been thinking about that. You know Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and Jesus had long hair.”

His Father said, “Yes, and everywhere they went, they walked.”

ONE HAPPY KEEWEE

When ordering Tulips last year, to plant in Autumn, I could not decide which of the 11 double Tulips I wanted, so I ordered a bag of mixed. Now I see how beautiful these brightly colored double flowers which resemble peonies are, I will order some of the other colors for next season.

Monte Carlo

Montreux

Double Price

This one is either Abba or Miranda

YES, THIS KEEWEE IS VERY HAPPY WITH THE FRUITS OF MY LABOR OF LAST AUTUMN

STOP BY HERE AND SEE MORE OF MY BEAUTIFUL TULIPS.