Sunday, May 20, 2007


I am feeling kinda' weary this morning, so instead of writing a book on my week's adventures, I am leaving you with this............

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts.

And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?"

And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds.

And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them.

And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad."

And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side.

And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them."

And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter.

And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds.

And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.

And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds. God then gave lean beef so that

Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.

And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest. God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created HMOs.

My, my ?...who created coffee??


Anonymous said...

... visited from Helen's ... will call again! Worried about those guns, though!

Anonymous said...

That is so funny.

And about the coffee.. the last study I heard of indicated that coffee (in moderation of course) is actually good for you. Hmmmm.. I wonder who wrote the study. :-)

Anonymous said...

why are bad things so nice?


Ginco said...

Keewee, this is absolutely mouthwatering delicious!! For the first time I feel that "Old Nick" is unjustly blamed for our sins, L O L!!!

mistaya's M.O.M. said... can't imagine how hard I laughed when I read your blog just now and realized you and I have posted the exact same post today!!!! "Sisters" are like that I guess! Hostagirl

The Conservative UAW Guy said...

And the cycle never ends...

LOL Keewee!

Anonymous said...

I am wondering whether I should reply here or on your site - maybe I'll do both to be sure you see the message!

Now I understand about your guns, that's clearer. I used to belong to a .22 rifle club years ago. But that was just to fire at paper targets.

I guess, because our police are generally unarmed here in the UK, we don't feel comfortable around guns. When I see the armed anti-terrorist ones at airports, it always spooks me. But, like you say, crime is high however here we seem to have more stabbings than shootings.